


Pretending

by auselysium



Series: I Wish I'd Met you First [1]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, M/M, part one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 18:48:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5637973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auselysium/pseuds/auselysium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The word bites. Hits Robert like another bullet to the chest.  He takes it square shouldered and resigned, meeting yet another one of their unavoidable ends.  And yet he stalls, hand lingering on the door frame before he goes.</p><p>“In that case, I wish I’d met you first.”</p><p>*set in some vague time between Robert's release from the hospital and the goings on of the next few weeks*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pretending

It happens. Of course it happens.

Another unavoidable crossing of paths. Another quick brush off with a setting of teeth and a diverting of gaze. Another surge of hate flaring in his chest, the flip side to that other emotion that once also left his heart racing and his cheeks burning.

Only this time…

“It always going to be like this, then?”

Robert is unflappably casual, near callous in his poise.

Aaron arms himself with his usual gruffness.

This is a game they know how to play so very well.

“`Fraid I don’t quite get your meaning.”

Robert’s hands slip into his trouser pockets as he moves closer. Strolls, swager, saunters - whatever that movement is that seems to embody the very essence of him.

“You just going to keep pretending like I don’t exist? Spend the rest of your life convincing yourself that you hate me? Like what you and I had meant nothing to you?”

“It’s been working for me so far.”

A wry smile is already playing on Robert’s lips before Aaron even recognizes his tacit admission. He rolls his eyes.

“What could you possibly expect, Robert? That someday I’d forgive you? That I’d just forget?” Aaron huffs. “If so, you’re even more daft than I thought.”

Retreat is the only way out, but then...

“I wish I could take it all back, you know. Go back to the start, and make it better. _Be_ better.” Those hands in his pockets now appear bashful. The hair across his brow hides honest, downcast eyes.

“I wish I could make what I did to you go away. Every...stupid, bloody thing I did or said to hurt you or your family. If there was any way,” his face lifts, “I’d do it. But I can’t, can I?” His voice aches with regret.

“No, you can’t,” Aaron replies, seeing the cracks in his facade. Relishing them even while wishing he could mend them. “So this is what we’re left with, you and me. _Pretending_.”

The word bites. Hits Robert like another bullet to the chest. He takes it square shouldered and resigned, met with yet another one of their unavoidable ends. And yet he stalls, hand lingering on the door frame before he goes.

“In that case, I wish I’d met you first.”

He gives Aaron one last chance to see the real sadness in his eyes.

And then Aaron is alone. Left pretending he didn’t often wish for the very same thing.

**Author's Note:**

> One sentence. Two ficlets. Two very different settings. One OTP.
> 
> "I wish I'd met you first."
> 
> I wanted to play with the idea that this sentence could go in so many different directions - be incredibly angsty or incredibly sweet. So I wrote both. This is the angsty one. Fluffier one to follow tomorrow.


End file.
